a_meebo | IC Inbox

CERESCon?

[Inaba can probably imagine question marks floating all around Mikleo's head.]

[ Sorey's been a little off lately; he's mostly a bit quieter than usual, lost in his thoughts and trying to make sense of some things while coming to terms with other things. He hadn't had much time to think or dwell when they were in the final battle — he had to quickly deal with his feelings, push them back and deal with what was in front of him. It was life or death, with the fate of everything on his shoulders, so he had no choice.

But now, being back in Cerealia, he's had time to mull things over and come to terms with what had happened. He'd only just stabbed Heldalf, seen his friends float up safely, and was prepared to go to sleep with Maotelus ... And in addition to all that, he'd only just killed Gramps, too. A lot had happened in the moments leading up to his rearrival in Cerealia. He had a lot to think about. A little too much, actually — enough to take up his mind for the past couple days (in addition to connecting the dots to various things about returning to his world and how that worked).

And tonight happens to be a particularly tough night. Things are sinking in further — especially Gramps' death — and he can't seem to fall asleep. He's been trying for a good couple hours. He's always been relatively good at getting over the hurdle of dealing with another's death, especially with how far he's come in accepting it, but dealing with someone so close to him dying — it takes a little more time. He knows he was right in his decision — he finds no fault in that part — but that doesn't mean he can't still be unhappy with the loss of someone so important in his life.

And as he thinks back on his life with Gramps, his breathing becomes a little uneven as he holds back the urge to cry. He can't get up to leave, seeing as Mikleo is sleeping partially on top of him as usual, so he opts to quietly move a hand over his chest (slowly, trying not to wake Mikleo), balled into a fist, in a motion of respect for his beloved family member. (It's even partially for Heldalf — he's sorry he could find no other way to save him.)

Whispering, quietly and shaky: ] Gramps ...

[ And his face contorts a little in pain, breathing hiccuping a little to hold back tears. ]

[Mikleo hasn't been blind to how off Sorey's been. He's merely been respecting his friend's wish to have some time to get his thoughts and feelings sorted. As much as he wants to do more for him, he can't, and he doesn't want to pry when Sorey clearly isn't ready. All the seraph can do is provide his friend with small comforts and shows of quiet support.

Then, there are Inaba's words from the other day that he's been considering privately when he can't sleep, or is waiting for Sorey to come back to bed after leaving in the middle of the night. They're always pushed aside for when Sorey comes back, though, and he focuses on on being that silent support for his friend. Regardless of his feelings, regardless of the nature of their relationship, Mikleo doesn't feel that anything will really change with them. It won't hold either of them back, not when they both know how much they mean to each other.

Tonight is a little different, considering Mikleo decides to lie on top of Sorey to avoid being smacked in the face while the Shepherd is asleep. That happened last night, and he doesn't care to have an encore performance tonight. Despite Sorey's care, Mikleo notices the movement and the change in his friend's breathing. Lavender eyes open and catch sight of the naked pain on Sorey's face.

His reaction is immediate. The water seraph shifts to throw his arms around Sorey, feeling very much awake now.]

I'm here.

[That's all Mikleo says. It's all he needs to say.]

[ He's startled for a moment by Mikleo's sudden movement. His mind sort of freezes up and his thoughts of Gramps disappear for a moment in order to address Mikleo ... actually being awake. And it seems like he noticed Sorey's movements, too, if his actions are anything to go by. Ah.

So he'll pause for a moment, looking at his friend with a bit of shock (and trying to make sure that when he speaks, his voice won't be too shaky), before he responds with a sort of light tone. ]

S-Sorry. Did I wake you?

[ He looks apologetic, and he is. He can tell Mikleo must've noticed and is trying to comfort him, though. He'd rather respond lightly, at least for now. ]

[His grip on Sorey tightens. He hates it when his friend does this, hiding the pain and trying to deal with it all on his own.

Not that he's the only one who does that. Hasn't Mikleo been doing the same? Not thinking about Muse and Michael since he got here? Not feeling that he's ready to face that knowledge still?]

The better question is, do I care that you woke me up.

[The answer is obvious. He doesn't care. The only reason Mikleo sleeps is because of Sorey, and when he's in pain like this...well. He's just glad that he doesn't need sleep so that he can spend his time helping his friend through it.]

It's a convention that they had a while back that had items and stuff on the people here. Kind of like a festival, I guess?

[ Ngh, he can feel Mikleo's grip tighten. Mikleo knows how Sorey must be feeling, he's sure of it. He's not sure how he feels about this just yet. ]

I'm guessing the answer to that is no, huh. [ He knows the answer to that is no. But his light tone drops completely, along with his expression, to something a little softer, yet far more serious. ]

... Sorry.

[ For trying to respond lightly despite knowing Mikleo knows how he truly feels right now, and for keeping things from him so far, and all that. He's sorry, he just hasn't known how to deal with any of this. He's still scared to tell him, in all honesty. Even though he feels like he should. It hasn't felt right to keep any of it from him, even if he's partially doing it because he doesn't know how to go about it, and partially because he doesn't want to hurt Mikleo. ]

[Mikleo closes his eyes briefly for a moment before reaching out with one hand to cup the side of Sorey's face, just so he can make his friend look him in the eye. Or close to it.]

Don't apologize for feeling hurt and not knowing what to do about it.

[More than anyone, he knows that Sorey hasn't experienced much heartbreak and pain before. How on earth can his friend be expected to know how to deal with it?]

You know I'll always be here for you.

[ Well, he won't move against that, and he'll look at Mikleo when he's prompted to. Even if it's a little difficult.

His words are definitely reassuring for Sorey — they help. They really do. And they definitely confirm that Mikleo knows full well what's going on with him. And he responds softly. ]

I know. [ He does. He really does. He knows that if he starts talking to Mikleo about all this, he'll have his full attention, and he'll be able to talk it out. He just ... doesn't know how to say it, and he doesn't want to hurt Mikleo. Even though he thinks it might be best for him to know anyway. ... And Mikleo doesn't like Sorey keeping things bottled up and away from him. He knows that. ]

It's just ... [ Closing his eyes. Nnnn. ] A lot happened, Mikleo. I want to tell you about it. But ...

[ It's hard. And he doesn't know how to even start. He's sure Mikleo will experience all this eventually, but he hates being the only one to know and keeping it from him. Especially knowing Mikleo and how he'd want to know. And really, the rest of it isn't so hard to talk about. It's just ... Gramps. ]

[His eyes don't leave Sorey for a second, but his hand leaves his friend's cheek in order to run his fingers through his brown hair. The more the Shepherd prolongs it, though, the more Mikleo's heart sinks to somewhere near the floor. Whatever they lose, or whatever Sorey loses, it's clearly significant.

The water seraph tries for gentle words, thinking only of soothing him.]

When it comes to this, I can patiently wait for you to find the words.

[Mikleo knows that Sorey will tell him. Though, maybe a part of him hopes that this is one thing he doesn't get to know about.]

We have time, here.

[ He understands that. That they have time. He's thankful for all the time he has here, really. Even if he does want to help everyone leave.

He opens his eyes again, though. ]

But I know you don't like it when I keep things from you like this. [ Shaking his head a little. ] And it just ... doesn't feel right.

[ He keeps things from people to try to help them — even if they don't like it, he always tends to do that thinking it's for their own good. He's done it a lot in the past, and that's a lot of the reason he's doing it now, too. But ... it's not sitting well with him. He feels conflicted on it. Like Mikleo has a right to know. And it'd ... help. To talk about it. But is it worth it to drag Mikleo down into this with him? Or would Mikleo want to be with him like he usually does? Geez, this is hard. ]

I don't. [He'll admit that. They both know he hates it.] But only because it hurts to see you like this and not be able to better help you.

[Mikleo sits up and drags Sorey up with him. He pulls his friend close to his chest in a tight embrace, resting his chin on his friend's shoulder. This is a better way, he thinks, to show that he's not going anywhere. When next the seraph speaks, it's in a quieter tone.]

If it doesn't feel right, then tell me. We've gotten this far together.

[It's a quiet plea for his friend to stop doubting the water seraph. Every step in their lives has been their journey, not just Sorey's or Mikleo's.]

[ Ah — he's quiet as he sits there in thought, listening to Mikleo. He's trying to be careful about this — he doesn't want his emotions to take him over too much right now. He doesn't want to say the wrong thing. But he appreciates his friend being here for him — more than he can say. ]

Mikleo ... [ A small nod. ] Yeah.

[ He knows they've always been through everything together, and they always work the best when they are together. And he softly moves his hands to very loosely hug Mikleo back. But after a short pause he speaks again. ]

... You're sure about this?

[ That he can tell him? ]

[Mikleo's eyes close.]

There's nothing you can say that'll make me leave forever.

[He might leave because of an argument, but he'll always come back. Sorey is one of the most important people in his life, and nothing will ever change that. Not even the passage of time.]

No, it isn't presumptuous at all. You're right, Yuri and I are best friends. We've known each other for around 15 years now.

But I wasn't aware that you knew him. I apologize if he came off as rude or anything of the sort.

[preemptive apologies never hurt.]

I thought he was kind of shady when I first met him, but I feel that he's been a good friend to have so far. Apparently, I remind him a bit of you.

[He lectured Yuri once. It was great.]

[ Mmnn. He knows Mikleo wouldn't leave him. He feels the same. And he knows that the longer he prolongs this, the more time he might give Mikleo to worry about it. He's been conflicted on telling people things about their loved ones in the past — it's hard.

So he nods in response to that. He knows.

And he closes his eyes, speaking very low and quiet. ]

Then ... Mikleo. [ He pauses for a moment, hesitating as the pain wells up in his chest. ] It's — It's about Gramps ...

[ Breathing a little heavier, trying to keep himself collected. ]

[Mikleo's heart seizes in his chest. He tenses, but keeps his hold on Sorey.

Something happened to Gramps. Something bad. Seeing and remembering the pain on his friend's face....]

He's...not with us anymore, is he?

[His throat tightens after saying that. The only reason he's holding it together right now is because his thought hasn't been confirmed. He only prays he's wrong, but something tells him that he isn't.]

[ He can feel Mikleo tense up, considering how close they are, and he feels awful. His heart drops into his stomach almost immediately, but he's not going to cry. At least, not yet. He's trying his best to stay strong for Mikleo's sake. But he knows full well how Mikleo took it back in their world — he knows how they both took it. He can hear his best friend's agonizing sobs like they happened seconds ago. It hurts.

His response is to grip the back of Mikleo's clothing — both a gesture to let him know he's here, and something to help himself stay grounded. And he nods his head — yeah, he's gone. There was no other way, and Sorey accepts this, but he doesn't have to be happy with his loss.

Quietly: ] I-I'm sorry ...

[ That there wasn't any other answer that could save him. That he's telling him. He's just so sorry this had to happen. ]

[It's surprisingly immediate. At least, to Mikleo it is. As much as he wants to be strong and not cry, to help Sorey get through the pain, it's just not going to happen. He has about as much chance as a reed hut surviving a hurricane.

The water seraph rests his chin over Sorey's shoulder and the tears just fall. His shoulders shake as he tries not to sob or wail like a dying thing, but soft, high-pitched whimpers escape him involuntarily. He grips at Sorey like a life preserve and only barely manages to get out a sentence with any semblance of being understood:]

Sh-shut up and grieve, damn it.

[His tone is harsher than he intends it to be, but it's hard when he's fighting to keep from waking everyone else up with his weeping.]

[ He can feel his everything fall apart when he hears Mikleo begin to cry. It's like he's back there all over again killing one of the most important people in the world to him. He can see it repeating in his head, clear as day. He feels terrible, and it doesn't take long for him to start shaking himself.

He's a little startled by Mikleo's sudden words, but his reaction to them is almost immediate. His eyes widen at them, and then he's crying right afterward. He's been trying to grieve on his own for the past few days, quietly, but it's difficult when you're trying to be secretive about it and all you want to do is cry.

So he gives in to it, crying and burying his face in the side of Mikleo's hair as he tightens his own hold on his friend. He sure has held this in for a while, despite how hard he's been thinking about it for the past few days. It hurts — it hurts so much, both because he knows Mikleo's in pain, and he is too.

But all he can do is cry for now. ]

[Mikleo isn't sure how long it is until his tears and shaking subside. At the same time, though, he doesn't really care. The both of them have every right to take as long as they need. Still, he feels hollowed out by the end of it. The pain remains sharp, and he knows he'll start crying again if he thinks or talks about Gramps.

The water seraph runs a hand through Sorey's hair. His hold is still tight, not wanting to leave the embrace quite yet for his friend's sake. There are words he wants to say to Sorey in an effort to give him some peace of mind, but finding them is hard, especially when Mikleo's afraid he'll dissolve into tears again in the middle of saying them.

'Gramps would be proud.'

And then there are some he feels might sound hollow in the wake of all this.

'We'll be okay.'

And there's some Mikleo isn't even sure why he wants to say them, taking him by surprise. They're something to ponder and reflect on later, but he won't say them here.

'I love you. I always will.'

Eventually, he decides on:]

I'm still here.

[His voice sounds rough and thick, but he doesn't care.]

I'm glad. Shady appearance aside, Yuri is a very good person and won't hesitate to help someone in need. And how so?

[isn't it? yuri lecture out to be a sport.]

Apparently, I lecture like you do. While he was confined to a hospital bed, he tried to get me to break him out. I told him off when I figured out what his scheme.

[That's a sport Mikleo will absolutely sign up for.]

IC Inbox

no subject

action; night of 5/1 (massive zestiria spoilers in here)

action;

action;

action;

no subject

action;

action;

action;

action;

action;

action;

action;

action;

1/2

no subject

no subject

action;

action;

action;

action;

action;

action;

no subject

no subject